Its a little known fact but there are separate laws for driving in Guildford, Surrey.  Further, if you drive a red BMW then there are special laws just for you.

These are just a few of the modifications to standard driving practice which seem to acceptable in Guildford:

• When turning right at a roundabout you may approach in either the left or the right hand lane.
• When turning left at a roundabout you may approach in either the left or right hand lane.
• Mirror signal manoevre has been altered to manoevre, signal, mirror, the last two being optional.
• Slip roads onto the A3 can be driven in either direction. Three point turns are also allowable.
• The phrases Keep Clear and Parking are interchangeable.
• If your Beemer has personalised plates then you may actually park in the doorway of shops.
• Bus Lanes are reserved for red BMWs.
• Red BMWs have right of way. This is true whatever the situation.
• If the car in front of you is traveling at the speed limit you may attach yourself to its rear bumper.
• The use mobile phones whilst driving is mandatory
• All road signs and markings have no meaning, they are simply decorations to brighten up all journeys.
• It is considered an offence for a BMW not to take up at least 2 parking spaces in any car park.
• Any BMW traveling at the speed limit or below should be considered to be either stolen or held up by other inconsiderate road users who are unaware that speed limits do not apply to BMWs.
• BMWs are invisible to the police.